Matt the Mii
“''Everybody’s a gangster til Matt starts swingin.”'' -Shigeru Miyamoto 'Matt '''is a CPU Mii from Wii Sports, Wii Sports Resort, and Wii Party. He is hated by many out of jealousy for his pure skill. He is the most overpowered wii character of all time, and is able to hold his own against Legal the Siberian. Matt is regarded as a legend among the people of Earth. Matt has been referred to as “a real OG”. Life When Matt was a child, his Father was destroyed by Lol Yu Pol. This made him want to take revenge, so he joined the armed forces at 7 years old and was trained. He was later deployed to Vietnam during the Vietnam War. At 12 years of age, he received a metal of valor for saving soilders by piloting a helicopter through a lightning storm, while he had his left arm in a sling (flamethrower incident). By the time the war had finished, he was so well trained that he could paralyze someone only using his eyebrows. He then became a boxer and boxed so well that he became a champion worldwide. Matt became practically invincible and defeated anyone who challenged him. Muhammad Ali was said to have slept with a night-light on because whenever the lights were off, he thought he could see Matt’s silhouette. Matt is known to have killed many notable leaders, such as Joseph Stalin, Benito Mussolini, Saddam Hussein, and Ellen DeGeneres. He was seen seconds before Michael Jackson died. Matt then went on to retire at Wuhu Island, and he trained in the art of the blade. He became invincible with his purple katana that was forged from darkness and heated from the power of a million suns. He trained in the art of “Wiiスポーツ” and became the Executor of Wuhu Island. Matt lives a peaceful life on the volcano and trains those who make the trek to find him. He sits in the shadows, waiting until the time is right to begin another crusade. Fun Facts! * The reason Matt’s sword can cut through diamond in speed slice is because it is imbued with the souls of Matt’s victims. * Matt’s armor is black because it is meant to represent the color of his soul. * Matts friends call him “Matt”. His enemies do not call him anything because they are all dead. * He is distant cousins with Childish Gambino. * He is the only reason Germany lost WWII * When he snaps, Thanos doesn’t feel so good. * His charm is so contagious, vaccines were created for it. * He wouldn’t be afraid to show his feminine side...if he had one. * In Wii Sports, he bowls overhand. * He killed XXXTentacion. * More than 4% of the world’s population is a offspring of Matt because he is a playa. * When he was in school, his teachers raised their hands to ask him questions. * His personality is so magnetic, he can’t carry credit cards. * When He was born, he spoke fluent Etruscan. * Matt hates Raymond. * He once received a standing ovation at a funeral. * All of Matt’s fortune cookies simply say “Congratulations”. * Wuhu Island once named a street after him, but had to remove it because nobody crosses Matt and lives. * He once played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun...and won. * He never says anything tastes like chicken...not even chicken. * He once found the Fountain of Youth, but didn’t drink from it because he wasn’t thirsty. * Homeless people give ''him money. * Matt’s beard is said to have experienced more than most men do in their entire life. * He taught Kim Jung-Un how to drive. * Sharks have a week dedicated to him. * He can speak French...in Russian. * In Matt’s past life he was himself. * His business card just says “I’ll call you.” * He once brought a knife to a gunfight...just to even the odds. * He can speak all known languages, including 3 that only he speaks. * He knows how Mafia works. * When he has a 50/50 chance, it’s actually 80/50 for him. * He once parallel parked a train. * Matt’s wiki page is the newest part of The Constitutional Amendment called the “Real OG laws”. * Matt let the dogs out. * Matt CAN believe it’s not butter. * Mosquitoes refuse to bite him purely out of respect. * He won the Lifetime Achievement Award...twice.